My last blog post was a partial list of some of the awful things people, including many perfect strangers, have felt justified in saying to my daughter and/or to me. It got me thinking, maybe people just don’t know what they should be saying to a teenager when they find out *they’re pregnant.
I understand that for some people encountering a pregnant or parenting teenager can make them a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe they just want to help out and are searching for just the right thing to say to, so please find a partial list of appropriate things to say to a pregnant teenager who has announced that they are planning to continue their pregnancy or to a teenager who is already parenting.
Oh my gosh, that’s wonderful. When are you due?
I’m so happy for you.
Have you picked out a name?
Your baby is beautiful.
You’re doing a great job.
Is there anything you need or can I do anything to help?
Oh my gosh, what’s his/her name? (Parent answers.) I love that name!
You look so happy.
Look at all that hair! And those eyes. What a cutie.
I remember when mine where that little. It’s hard and exhausting, but so worth it.
They grow up fast. Enjoy every second of this magical time.
May I touch her/him? May I hold her/him?
You’re adorable pregnant.
He/she looks just like you.
What a lucky baby to have a mom like you.
I understand that many adults are not used to saying things like this to teenage parents, so I’ve made a handy little card to be carried in a wallet. If you encounter a pregnant or parenting teenager and feel like you must comment, please refer to this car.
*In the interest of making this site friendlier to pregnant and parenting queer teens who may use different pronouns than she (he/him, they/them) I will be making more of an effort to use the they pronoun when talking in general terms about teen pregnancy.