A Handy Guide of What to Say if You Encounter a Teenage Parent


My last blog post was a partial list of some of the awful things people, including many perfect strangers, have felt justified in saying to my daughter and/or to me. It got me thinking, maybe people just don’t know what they should be saying to a teenager when they find out *they’re pregnant.

 

I understand that for some people encountering a pregnant or parenting teenager can make them a little bit uncomfortable. Maybe they just want to help out and are searching for just the right thing to say to, so please find a partial list of appropriate things to say to a pregnant teenager who has announced that they are planning to continue their pregnancy or to a teenager who is already parenting.

 

Congratulations!

 

Oh my gosh, that’s wonderful. When are you due?

 

I’m so happy for you.

 

Have you picked out a name?

 

Your baby is beautiful.

 

You’re doing a great job.

 

Is there anything you need or can I do anything to help?

 

Oh my gosh, what’s his/her name? (Parent answers.) I love that name!

 

You’re glowing.

 

You look so happy.

 

Look at all that hair! And those eyes. What a cutie.

 

I remember when mine where that little. It’s hard and exhausting, but so worth it.

 

They grow up fast. Enjoy every second of this magical time.

 

May I touch her/him? May I hold her/him?

 

You’re adorable pregnant.

 

He/she looks just like you.

 

What a lucky baby to have a mom like you.

 

 

 

I understand that many adults are not used to saying things like this to teenage parents, so I’ve made a handy little card to be carried in a wallet. If you encounter a pregnant or parenting teenager and feel like you must comment, please refer to this car.

teenmom card

*In the interest of making this site friendlier to pregnant and parenting queer teens who may use different pronouns than she (he/him, they/them) I will be making more of an effort to use the they pronoun when talking in general terms about teen pregnancy.

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